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  • Writer's pictureMitch Pinkney

A guide for parents using their Cup of Calm

💙First of all, choose a quiet calm time when you can have a few minutes to sit with your child.

( It's far more effective to sow the seed when they are calm, and almost pointless when they're in the middle of an outburst)

💙Choose one stick to read with your child and have a short chat about it's suggestion.

💙Discuss ways in which you can put it into action over the next few days before trying another stick.

💙Think of relevant situations to them when their feelings may be triggered eg;

" You could try this when you next have a test/when there's a supply teacher/at bedtime" etc.

💙Good talking times might be at mealtimes, bedtime, in the bath or in the car ( times when there's not too much eye contact so it feels less direct and intense)

💙Keep the chats short and simple as the message will get lost if it's too wordy and long-winded.

💙Have faith ! You may think they haven't the advice on board, but the seed will have been sown just may take time before you see the shoots !

Also as the advice is coming from the stick and not their parent ... children may be more receptive to the suggestions !!

💙Injecting some humour is great to keep things relaxed when things may seem to big to handle.

💙Gently encourage your child to try the sticks, but if they're unsure try another stick or stop for the day.

💙Some sticks may not seem relevant or do-able ... and that's absolutely fine . Just take what you need or what works for them.

💙You may think some of the advice is really obvious and this is fully intentional. Simply being told to "Calm down !" or "Be brave!" or "You'll be fine !" is too vague and is not specific or helpful enough - they need to know clearly and simply HOW they can achieve that status.

💙Emotions are a VERY abstract and invisible concept , so helping your child to recognise and name them is extremely helpful, eg; ! It looks like you may be worried about this ?" or I can see how that may have frightened you ?" or " That must have felt so disappointing for you ?"

💙If you notice your child trying any of the advice... acknowledge with as much praise and recognition as they are comfortable with .

💙 Find a quote that suits your child and suggest they try it as a daily mantra or in times of need.

💙Suggest to your child that if they don't feel able to ask for help or to start a conversation, they could hand one of the sticks to someone they trust, or leave it somewhere noticeable instead as a signal that they need some support.

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